Thankful

In this week of Thanksgiving, let me share with you a small portion of what is a significant part of my life here in Columbus, Ohio. I am most grateful that I am able to serve as an an Ordinance worker in the Columbus, Ohio Temple.
In my experience, I merely place myself weekly in this Temple and each week a prayer of mine is answered. I brush shoulders with some of the most amazing men and women I have ever met in my entire life. All of this happens because I simply walk out the doors of my house, and go to the House of the Lord. I’m not perfect. I don’t feel the Spirit every second of every day. But I do know that as I place myself in the Temple, that I always have a witness from Heavenly Father, whether it is a feeling, the words from a patron, the touch and wisdom from a fellow ordinance worker, or a thought that comes to my mind. He lets me know that He is aware of me. He always tells me in some form that He knows exactly where I am, even which square of carpet I am standing on.


One week on the way to the Temple for my shift I had the thought that I would serve on the first Endowment session and that a certain couple in our ward would be in attendance. Sure enough, I was assigned to be just where I thought, and that very couple walked in. Heavenly Father let me know that He knew just where I would be standing, where I would be sitting, and who I would be with. He knew me. He knows me. I felt the overwhelming witness that He loves me and I cannot deny it.


Often I am assigned to be in the Celestial Room in the case that there are patrons that come inside. During times when the room is empty, I will get an entire half hour in the Celestial Room to myself. It is humbling and overwhelming to spend that time in that room. I sit and ponder and feel the strong Spirit present. The Celestial Room is the closest place on the Earth that I can be to Heavenly Father. How blessed am I to be imperfect, but worthy, set my alarm to get to the Temple on time, and receive these kinds of moments, revelations, witnesses of love, testimony, great knowledge, amazement, overwhelming beauty, examples of devotion and dedication to the Gospel, and the wonderful, sweet people around me. All because I have the Gospel, I know it is true, and I make the small effort to get where I need to be and I am blessed.


In no way could I express even a small portion of the love and admiration I have for those I serve with or the gratitude I have for the wisdom they have shared with me. Two great examples of these wonderful people are Peggy and Kerry Lauritzen. Jimmy and I had the opportunity to spend 4 lovely hours with them in this diner up in Mansfield, which used to be a train car. We mostly listened as we heard story after story, laughed and shared, ate and admired. They are remarkable and have our love for life. We have not known them long. Friendships beginning in the Temple, in the service of others and our Heavenly Father, creates quick bonds and great love.My love for the Temple is solid, it is forever, and it has changed my soul. It feels like going home. I will never look at people the same again with the experiences I have had, too many to ever recount and too many too precious to speak of. We are all loved by Heavenly Father and all have the same opportunity for growth and fulfilling potential. Come to the Temple. Do all you can to receive these ordinances and know them well. The blessings in store for us are more beautiful and all-encompassing than we could ever comprehend in this life. It really is heaven on earth, if you will make it that. I know I need it in my life. I know it is the House of the Lord. Christ lives and He is real. He guides my steps and walks alongside me. He is in His holy Temples. Go.

Maybe I'm crazy

When I first saw this clip it was late at night. When it popped up on the screen I exploded. It's surprising. I laughed so hard, then laid in bed laughing, then woke up the next morning laughing. Now, don't focus on how gross or crazy this situation is. Just don't. Only watch from the beginning until about 39 seconds into it. The part that matters starts at 33 seconds.

Happy Birthday, Jimmy!

My sweet Jimmy, my little Voldemort, my t-rex, my smart, fun and crazy man,

I love you forever and ever.

(Balancing a pumpkin on his head at the Pumpkin Festival this year)

Happy 26th birthday!

What happens when I go to the mall

I've neglected my wardrobe and my hair for about 5 months now and decided that I needed to take a trip to the mall to at least find something long-sleeved, as it is officially really cold outside. Whenever I take a shopping trip, I think I do the opposite of what most people do in terms of appearance. This time was no exception and I put on a long-sleeved t-shirt, sweatpants, and wore no make-up. I actually always think of what Stacy and Clinton say about going out in public like this, but it's just what makes sense to me. I drive into the parking lot and thought, "Maybe Justin Beiber is here at the mall today and I didn't know it," because everyone in Columbus decided to go to the mall at the same time. I overheard someone say that there was no OSU football game and that is why it was so busy. Ah, perfect.

I finally park, go in and take my mandatory stop at H&M first. As I happily go into the store, I walk right into a fart. Of course. I browse the store, and immediately get extremely confused. I might as well be cross-eyed, glued to a spot on the floor, fondling some dress-that-looks-like-a-shirt somehow convincing myself that it's absolutely necessary to act like I am on a mission. The second store gives me a headache and I end up intensely staring at and listening to the girls next to me looking at the jewelry until they give me a look and walk away. It takes me a long time to realize that I have no idea why I am in that store and move on, only to feel and act as though I have been without food or water for days trekking across the desert on my walk to the next store. Then I just walk in and turn right around and walk out. I finally return to H&M, make a purchase and walk out like a champion. This process took me 3 hours.

I always tell Jimmy my first item of business when I get magic is to snap my fingers and my kitchen will be full of groceries so I don't have to grocery shop. This will be the same for my wardrobe as well, so I'm just waiting for it to come. I suspect it is soon because the power lines by our apartment complex are this gathering spot for literally thousands of birds. I assume it is so they can all fly south together. The noise and the sight of it is insane. It is pretty magical.

Mother, I'm going to war

It's Monday. Halloween is over. I have a cold. I need a little pick-me-up and I know one thing that always solves my problems: this picture of little Connor that completely summarizes him at about 5 years old.
Hey, Connor remember when you used to use a plastic golf club as a crutch, carry a small suitcase full of toys everywhere we went, and make your best friend in kindergarten dance to that song, Blue? Remember how you used the pillows for bases and then announced yourself as every team member of the Mariners up at bat? Then tucked your shirt into your elastic pants? I do.

Happy Birthday, Abby!

This special young lady turns 25 today. Hey, Ab. Thank you for filling my life with memories that make me laugh 'til I cry.

I'll pick one of these memories to share. For a long period of time when you were in about the 6th grade and me in the 5th, I would get an almost daily interruption from you while in my room. All of the sudden I would hear Funkytown or Ladies' Night playing and just the head of your tuxedo-wearing ventriloquist doll would pop in and sing to me. I yelled and yelled for you to leave, all the while trying not to laugh. I know that there are no words to sum up life with you, but I think these pictures help a little. There is no one else in this world I would rather have as my sister.

I love you.

Happy Birthday!

Oh, and this one had a birthday on the 21st. We'll see our little Elder Wilson in less than 2 months.

Boo!

Living in Ohio these four years will be completely worth it because of how beautiful the Fall is. On Saturday Jimmy and I went to Roscoe Village, a small town east of Columbus preserved from its origin in the early 1900s. We took a ride on the Eerie Canal in a canal boat, pulled by two horses that walk along a path alongside the canal.
We also went on a hay ride, ate at a cute restaurant (shown above), bought some apple butter at the apple butter festival and then took a G-rated "haunted tour" of the town at night. Our tour guide and other volunteers dressed up in period clothing in the form of a doctor at the doctor's office, the school teacher in the school house, etc. and we learned about the mysterious deaths in the town. An old woman painted like a ghost sat outside the doctor's office and said, "Ooohhhh! I have leprosy!" She then looked to our guide and shrugged her shoulders like, "That's all I got," so we moved on. It was pretty funny. At the schoolhouse, Jimmy wrote on his little chalkboard at his desk, "I DID IT," and left it for the next group to see. It was the perfect way to experience a little Halloween fun for us. I was charmed out of my mind and at one point thought to myself, "I am so relaxed right now. I could do this all night and probably forever." I don't appreciate the gory, psychotic Halloween. Give me a jack-o-lantern, a witch hat, Hocus Pocus and I'll be set for life.

We enjoyed some bumpin' live music while taking a brief look through the festival. I really didn't mean to follow the semi-Amish man, but it just ended up happening. I'm only showing this video because of Jimmy. Happy Halloween!

J & M in the haunted hiz-ouse

Tonight Jimmy studied late at school for one of his many tests, so I ate so much that I am in pain. Somehow, when I have these nights alone, I decide to treat myself to something delicious, thinking that somehow it won't affect me. So I made chocolate chip cookies and frankly, I just don't know when to stop because I love them so much. On my way to pick him up at school a little bit ago, I saw that our neighbor's garage door was open and their Hummer inside was parked diagonally. People with Hummers think they are mightier than the world.

We need to get to bed now. We were up late last night as well and as we were making it to bed, I couldn't stop laughing. In an attempt to calm my laughing outbursts, Jimmy asked me multiple choice questions. He loves to guess things. Anything. Then we said, "Remember The Brave Little Toaster?" and laughed til we cried. We decided to watch that movie soon and he said, "We have to watch The Pagemaster first, then that movie second." He claims that The Pagemaster is one of his favorite movies from childhood, so I asked him what the plot is. He then proceeded to tell me almost the entire plot of The Neverending Story. I held my laughter in for as long as possible, trying my best to egg him on and see how far I could get him to go. He stopped just before he told me about the flying dog and the horse in the quicksand.

In conclusion: Halloween! Here is more of Tim Curry in the final minutes of The Worst Witch. Click on his name to see the best music video in creation that I posted last Halloween.

"Ooh yes...I have."

Tuesday

Last night as I laid in bed trying to fall asleep, I thought of how hilarious it would be if I woke up in the middle of the night hallucinating that a dancing crab was at the foot of my bed. Then how great it would be if it danced and chased me down the hall, and I would grab my camera to video it, because no one would believe it. Then you would see nothing on the screen, but hear me saying things like, "Look how arrogant he is. I'm going to punch him in the face!" Then video him chasing me all over the house, being so mad at him the whole time. Then I cracked up, falling asleep hoping that it might happen. I do this too often: imagine funny things happening, and hoping they will come true so I can have the stories to tell. I wish I could remember them all. Instead of waking up to the hallucination, I woke up to Jimmy snoring or making abrupt, "Ooohhh!" noises like when Lars wakes up after the all-night food fest on Heavyweights. I'm used to it now and love him for it.

And because no blog post this month would be complete without a little Halloween, here is my gift to you. It's the first part of one of my favorite movies, The Haunted Mask, from the Goosebumps book. There are too many hilarious and mind-blowing parts to point them all out. I quote this more than almost any movie. Even if you watch just a couple of minutes, it is worth your time.



Happy Tuesday!

Sisters, Satan has married Medusa. See the snakes in her hair.

Jimmy and I wanted to kick off the Fall season, and this blessed month of Halloween, with a little something special. It is hard to see in the video, but our black skull candle bleeds orange and black wax out of its eyes. We originally tried this in a park, surrounded by the colorful leaves, but underestimated how long it would take for our candle to burn in order for the wax to bleed, and the time in our parking meter was up. So we came home and let the rest of our Halloween decorations join in on the fun.

Next week

A couple of my favorite shows are starting up again.

As if I needed more reasons to love the Fall.

P.S.

My mother thought it so important to add my 5th grade school picture to aid my most recent blog post, that she scanned it and sent it to me this week. She always knows what is best.
Behold, 5th grade Mallory. A little visual snack for you all. Braces, giant clip, and baby hairs. The special treat you can't see is Tigger and Pooh chasing each other around the bottom of my shirt. A little something left up to your imaginations.

Braces

Jimmy and I had a discussion tonight about the possibility of me getting braces in the near future. I have already had braces. They were on for 8 months while I was in the 5th grade: only 4 braces on my top 4 front teeth, and headgear at night. Jimmy informed me that headgear now does not exist, which makes the fact that I had to wear it and the pictures taken of me in it on Christmas morning even worse. Add to that that I had acne and the fashion trend was shifting from straight-legged jeans and your favorite Winnie the Pooh clothing item of choice to flares and white eyeliner, a trend which I did not catch onto for about 2 more years.

Since then, my teeth have shifted back quite a bit and it would be nice to have my teeth perfected at some point. Now, at 23 years old I am not sure exactly how this situation would play out. Braces automatically make life more awkward. I would fit in with my new crowd at the mall wearing Skechers Shape-Ups, counting their quarters to see if they have enough money for the life size Edward cardboard cut-out, and planning to see any movie that comes out in 3D as if 3D wasn't invented 50 years ago. It would be like permanently living in the dream where you go to school and realize you forgot to wear clothes. I'm afraid that Looney Tunes bedtime shirts would start to look appealing. Then I'd carry a cat around in my purse and constantly tell it to be quiet. I'd forget that my mom gave me permission 12 years ago to shave my legs.

I would feel like I'd have to explain myself to everyone I come in contact with: "Hey, I have braces! Wow, they are going to be on for for-ev-er! But not really, the time will totally fly by. Then it's perfect teeth time! I mean, who wants nasty stains on their teeth when they're removed? So I clean them all the time. I feel like that's all I do--clean my braces! My br-a-ces! BRACES! I wish I had Invisalign, but I'd have to sell my arm to afford it. Literally! Could you imagine? I'll text you later about my braces."

We'll see what actually happens if or when braces are put on my teeth, but if I start high-fiving everyone thinking that will somehow make up for the awkwardness bursting out of my pores, I'll need to be shaken back to reality.

If me and Fall had a conversation

Me: Psst...
Fall: Well hello my dearest girl, you are looking lovely today.
(an embrace)
Fall: Now, you know I should be sleeping, waiting 'til September, but I am here because I would do anything for you. Please, let me know what it is you need.
Me: Oh, beautiful Fall. I am begging you, please come now. I don't know if I can wait any more.
Sweaty Summer: Boo-yah! Gimme a belly bump! Oh crap, I forgot to put on a shirt. Man, I had soo many ho-hos! Haaaaa!
Me: Where did you come from? I'm hiding from you. Go back to Wal-Mart.
Fall: Now Summer, we must remember our manners. Oh-ho, look at this, blessed day! Halloween just sent me a text message. It is a picture of our favorite jack-o-lanterns, throwing up the beautiful fallen leaves! Ah, such good times await us.
Me: (tear) Oh...that sounds lovely.
Sweaty Summer: I think I just passed out on the pavement for 7 seconds. I wanna crank up the humidity so I can literally drink the air. Literally! I need me some water! Oh, never mind, I found a soda in my pants.
(Fall begins to float away)
Me: Oh, Fall! Must you go so soon?
Fall: 'Tis time. Be patient, my dear. Soon my crisp, cool air will grace your cheeks with a kiss and I will surround you in pure joy. Until we meet again!

Whackbat

I realize The Fantastic Mr. Fox was released in November of last year, but thanks to Adrienne I finally watched it this week. It is easily my favorite movie right now and will be until something can top it. That won't happen unless Wes Anderson creates an equally witty movie that magically gives me the power to float. I loved every aspect of this movie. I would go so far to say I loved every line. If everyone has already seen it and is thinking this is old news, I'm sending a different thought your way, "Wow, I am so happy that I am seeing this movie trailer for the first time and that Mallory brought it to my attention." You're welcome.

Adrienne continues to blow my mind on multiple levels as she gets bigger, specifically with the presents she gives me. Like this year's The Fantastic Mr. Fox and monster mouth tattoos for my pointer finger and thumb that I can make talk. A few of my other favorites from past years include a "No Smoking" sign that lights up, a bag sewn out of Pokemon cards, and a locket with a picture of herself inside. All the best things coming from such a little body. Thanks, Ash.